When well-meaning advice keeps you stuck in your career
If you’re feeling stuck in your career, what advice are your friends and family giving you? Because they might be holding you back without meaning to.
It’s perfectly natural to turn to our nearest and dearest when we’re faced with a dilemma, especially when we’re feeling frustrated and confused.
Sometimes, we just need a sounding board to make sense of what we’re thinking and feeling.
But I’ve had clients who’ve felt really stuck because they’re hearing comments like:
“Why would you leave a stable law firm job?”
“Are you sure this is the right time to make a change?”
“Why take the risk when you’ve worked so hard to get this far?”
The thing is that people give advice from their own perspective, based on their own values and interpretation of the situation, and their own experiences.
Family members, especially from an older generation, often default to safety. They are in a different phase of human development, which means they prioritise different things.
They want to protect you, and they may see the key to this as financial and job security. And, let’s face it, the legal profession is seen as very prestigious.
They have the very best of intentions for you, but they may not see the bigger picture of what will actually allow you to thrive and be happy.
What can really help here is to:
Ask your loved ones what they really want for you and talk to them about lights you up so that they understand better how to support you.
Find mentors who see possibilities, not just risks.
Develop perspective on the conversations you have with your loved ones so that you can appreciate their best intentions without taking on the pressure of their expectations.
Next time, you’re discussing your career with friends and family, notice how their perspectives colour their thoughts and advice.
And then make up your own mind.